FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Today Planet Earth announced that the subsidy it has been providing to human civilization, commonly known as “fossil fuels”, would be withdrawn over the next few decades. The statement noted, “This was always the plan. The original contract disclosed that the supply was finite, and urged the humans to make wise use of this energy bonanza, by building long-lasting, easily repairable infrastructure that would allow civilization to flourish using the ongoing energy flux from the sun. Instead it seems that it has fueled a cancerous growth in the size and energy ‘demands’ of human societies. They really should have read the disclaimers more carefully.”
dysangelist 
Love it. I can envision this as an Onion article with a headline like: “Planet Earth® Announces Global Restructuring Plan, Issues Eviction Notices.”